Wellness Institute Blog

Birth Issues, Fear of Abandonment and Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy

Posted by Diane Zimberoff  Apr 15, 2015 9:00:00 AM


Traditionally, most psychotherapists, social workers, addiction specialists or treatment facilitators may wonder what birth and death issues have to do with the work we do. Traditionally, birth issues have been left up to the medical profession, while death and dying has been left up to religious professionals. The presenting problems of our clients/patients are usually related to domestic violence, PTSD, depression, anger management, fears and phobias, anxiety disorders, addictions and more. However, for over thirty-five years, since we at The Wellness Institute have been using altered-state therapies, we have learned about the source of many of the above mentioned client issues that are so commonly presented.

There are many levels of treatment available with varied results. Historically, many people entered into Freudian or Jungian analysis, which often took multiple weekly visits for years. Over the last thirty years, there have been several major changes in the mental health treatment field. The first one is when insurance companies no longer would pay for long-term therapies. Once managed care came into the picture, insurance companies began to determine the treatment choices offered to every client who couldn’t pay out of pocket.  It was insurance companies that insisted on the idea of short-term, solution-focused therapy (band aid therapy as many call it) and everything changed. It is obviously impossible to treat dysthymic disorder (severe depression), severe anxiety disorders, personality disorders , addictions or other major disorders in five talk therapy sessions.

The other big change has been the onslaught of new drugs, often prescribed by family physicians with no therapy component offered. When Prozac first came on the market, it was to be given for only six months with psychotherapy during that time. That directive was quickly ignored and people are now on long term SSRI usage with no therapy required.

Over these years, many cognitive therapies have developed, with varying results. Many are effective for a while and clients do receive tangible benefits that help them to function well.  However, we have found that when treatment is focused on just one symptom, that symptom can be alleviated, but the underlying dis-ease may crop up in a different form. For example, a client may go to anger management classes and no longer engage in domestic violence, but that anger, if not truly released from the body, can take various other forms. The client may then turn to alcohol, drugs or food to push down (“swallow”) these intense feelings. The anger may continue to be just pushed down and then be “eating away” at the person who now develops symptoms of colitis or Crohn’s disease or other physical diseases.

So what does all of this have to do with birth issues? There is a very famous study that included over 3,000 criminals with anger issues. There was a significant connection between criminal behavior and traumatic births. There was also a significant connection between criminal behavior and babies that were not wanted.

Let’s look at how hypnotherapy combined with breath therapy can treat birth issues and prevent associated mental health problems. In our protocols with hypnotherapy, clients very often spontaneously regress to their womb or birth experience.

Fear of Abandonment

Often a client with fear of abandonment or separation anxiety issues will present with these problems:

  1. Staying in unhealthy relationships that do not meet their needs
  2. Not being able to leave an obviously abusive relationship (domestic violence)
  3. Raising children that remain home too long, stay dependent on their parents, and who don’t know how to have healthy separation
  4. Staying in jobs, houses or friendships that abuse their spirit

This fear of abandonment is one of the most common fears that people have and is often the source of the majority of anxiety disorders. Therapists may use a variety of talk therapies to treat this, such as behavior modification, rational emotive therapy, CBT and others. After a while the anxiety ridden client may also be referred to a physician who prescribes drugs which may ameliorate the symptoms for a while, but none of these deep seated patterns really change in the client’s stressful life.

We have learned about the source of these abandonment fears through the powerful age regression techniques of Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy. By putting the client into a light trance, their subconscious mind then is directing the session and guiding us to the source of their problem. We have learned to bypass the client’s conscious mind (only 10% of the mind) and to rely on the deeper subconscious mind (90% of the mind) to find the true source of their presenting problem.

Being guided by their subconscious mind, the client begins with the current experience of anxiety or fear of abandonment, and may regress back to an abusive relationship in college or high school where they were abandoned and filled with the same anxiety. As we regress them again, they continue to go to one similar situation after another in their life where they felt the fear of being abandoned, and ultimately to see the life-long pattern of staying too long in relationships that did not meet their needs.

The Toxic Womb

As we continue this hypnotherapy process over several sessions, clients will eventually return to the womb, their first experience of abandonment. This can take several forms, such as being in a toxic womb where the mother is smoking, drinking or using drugs. Or the toxicity can be caused by depression, fear, guilt or grief. The fetus is connected with the mother on some days, and then a toxic influence is introduced. There are studies that show when the mother begins to smoke tobacco, the fetus moves about frantically and is obviously in distress. This is one form of separation anxiety, when the fetus feels separated from the mother and doesn’t feel safe in this environment. In the hypnotherapy, we have the client express the feelings and release the fears. We may then regress the client again in another session and this time the client may regress back to the birth experience where the labor is beginning.

During this time after the mother’s water breaks and the contractions begin, mother and baby are connected and working together to bring this new soul into the world. However, if the mother does not choose natural childbirth and goes to a medical facility, she is usually immediately given a drug. The anesthetic drugs offered cause unconsciousness of both the mother and baby, rendering the mother and baby to become disconnected. This is when many newborns experience separation anxiety that can manifest as fear of abandonment throughout life. This is, of course, standard procedure for caesarean deliveries, now 1/3 of all births in the U.S.

Once the baby is born, if the mother has been given anesthetic or heavy pain drugs, mother and baby are both still drugged for many hours after the birth. Nature has intended for the new born to immediately be placed on the mother’s stomach and to crawl up her belly to reach the nipple and begin to suck. The colostrum that is first expelled from the nipple provides the baby with the exact nourishment it needs to survive and to begin to build a strong immune system. Immediate sucking on the breast also satisfies the babies oral needs, especially if continued for a year or two. However, if mom and baby are drugged these precious gifts of Mother Nature are lost and many health and psychological issues begin right here as a result. One of these issues can be substance abuse and food and drug addictions later on in life.

The Fear of Abandonment Becomes a Lifelong Pattern

One of the most common ways this abandonment fear manifests is a baby who has what doctors often call colic. Parents now have a baby who cries constantly and can’t seem to be comforted. The medical profession searches for answers for distraught parents, and often suggests the baby is allergic to mother’s milk and she should cease breastfeeding and go to a formula. Once again the baby experiences abandonment of the breast.

As the child gets older, this fear may manifest in a child who clings to the mother, insists on sleeping in the bed with her and becomes nervous anytime there is separation. Going to school can become a problem and this separation anxiety now turns into school phobias. Eventually, the individual grows up to have one or more of the presenting issues we itemized earlier.

So by using Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy to go directly to the source of these problems, true healing can occur. 

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