Wellness Institute Blog

How Hypnotherapy Training Can Treat Fear of Commitment

Posted by Diane Zimberoff  Aug 27, 2013 12:00:00 PM

Hypnotherapy Provides Healing for Troubled Relationships

Many couples or individuals come into therapy with frustrating patterns that they can’t seem to break through. Many have tried all different types of therapies, taken courses and read books. In general, if these endeavors have mostly engaged the conscious mind, then the couple has only used 10% of their overall mental resources and thus have spent a large amount of their resources. The majority of people believe that if they could just figure things out, which will solve the problem. This is certainly true in mathematics, science and technology. However, the human brain is much more complex than that.

The human brain is composed of two basic parts: the conscious mind, which is about 10% of our capabilities and the subconscious mind, which engages the other 90% (we discuss this more in one of our more popular blog articles discussing the difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy). So when a client goes to a talk therapist, cognitive behaviorist or any of the other “thinking type” therapies, they are only paying to treat 10% of their mind, i.e., the conscious part.

The Conscious and the Subconscious Mind

The conscious part of our mind holds some of our defenses, such as judgments, rationalizations, and analyses, and “thinking type” therapies can be helpful in confronting these defenses. However, most of our defenses are subconscious, such as denial, projection, and addictive and compulsive behaviors. These defenses are formed as children as a way to protect us from harmful or abusive people and situations. They are useful when we are in danger, but then become like a wall, which prevents us from getting down to our more vulnerable feelings and our profound resources.

So many of our untapped resources are held in the subconscious mind, which is where hypnotherapy can take us. These resources are contained in our memories, feelings, emotions, intuition and unconscious motivations.  Most people like to think that they make decisions based in their so-called rational mind but actually researchers have shown that most decisions are made from our feelings. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Studies show that when singles go into a meeting place, they attract someone within 60 seconds of entering. The studies also show that if you have been bullied as a child, you may subconsciously be attracted to a bully. If you grew up in an alcoholic family, the alcoholic will find you almost immediately. If you believe, subconsciously, that all women are "bitches" or all men are abusive, guess who you will be attracting?

But all of this is happening so quickly, and so deeply below our conscious awareness, that the conscious mind is easily outmaneuvered. This is exactly why Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy has discovered that we must guide people into the depths of their subconscious vault where all these relationship patterns are stored.

Hypnotherapy and the Subconscious Mind

The subconscious mind contains a deep inner wisdom which, when properly directed, will take the client right back to the source of where these patterns began. For example, a woman who keeps attracting men with commitment issues may be subconsciously directed by her internal resources to visit her childhood family where her father left when she was a toddler. Another peak into the window of her early life may give her the view of her mother who continued to bring men home who eventually would leave. A subconscious conclusion she may have made about herself when these father figures left was, “I’m unlovable” and the behavior she may have chosen based on that belief was never to be vulnerable, never to commit and thus to always keep herself safe from being abandoned again.

Once the deeper source of this fear of commitment is discovered through Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy, then the healing can truly begin. Without this deeper work, the client continues in a whirlwind of searching for answers that her conscious mind just does not contain. This is why Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy brings awareness sooner and heals the deeper pain hidden below the conscious mind. Now new conclusions about self can be re-programmed into the computer-like region of the brain that holds all of the past programming. Learn about becoming a certified Heart-Centered hypnotherapist today! 

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Topics: relationship therapy, Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy, hypnotherapy best practices, anxiety therapy, All issues that hypnotherapy helps treat